I need some calm. I need to learn to feel more blessed for the things I have and things I can do, and less bitter about the things I don't have or the people that linger around my life making things difficult. Something happened this past Tuesday and since then, I have been stewing on it, and making myself more and more annoyed at the complete disrespect and immaturity that someone displayed. Wednesday I got to thinking about it and realized that I am actually blessed that this person doesn't associate with my children, because I don't want them thinking that kind of behavior is okay, especially as adults. This has always been something I have pondered and driven myself crazy over because I know how much more blessed my older two children are over the youngest one. But again, here I travel into the world of bitterness and unfairness and that is not where I want to be. I am trying desperately to change, I have been for a while now and it's been so hard to do when the things around me stay the same, the things that evoked my previous behavior crop up every time I turn around. I want to learn to feel blessed, to be calm, to be less irrational and more focused, to learn to use my time better. I want to take a deep breath and be thankful for the glorious autumn weather we are having and less concerned with the upcoming "family" holidays. I can only hope that the people I love will share this with me and find their own sense of well being over the upcoming holiday season. I hope that my friends and family will come outside with me and play in the leaves. :)
