But now we're stressed out

I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote...well...anything really.  I find the need to now though, because I just don't have that many outlets. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was desperately trying to clean my house.  While it needs to be done anyway ALWAYS, I was doing it for an out of town visitor.  Shortly after that I did what I could (ANYTHING is difficult to get done in my house), I left on my own trip out of town (visitor was for the hubby). 

My trip out of town was to fly across the country and visit with my eldest brother. Since I was a teenager, he has been one of my favorite people. He moved away almost 13 years ago and I've rarely been able to see him since. It was wonderful to spend that time with him. There are no words to adequately describe how much I miss him.  He lives in a cute, quirky little town and his house, while very much like the others on the outside, is gorgeous on the inside, like I knew it would be. It's sparse and clean and just perfect.  It was a perfect example of how to live stylishly, cleanly, without an overabundance of stuff.

Ever since I got home, I have admittedly been in kind of a rotten mood.  I'm not exactly sure what my problem is, but I would imagine it's a combination of things. That combination would be: a messy house I can't stand, people who live in and do absolutely nothing above and beyond the bare minimum, the whining that started as soon as I got home, the pile of work left for me at the job,the drama created by people while I was gone...and on and on and on. Of course I realize these are common, every day problems, certainly not unique to me, nor do they make me special in any way, but they are driving me to my breaking point and I can't seem to put the brakes on that. I am feeling everything magnified it seems - disgust, anger, sadness, irritation. I miss my brother. I miss who I can be with him. I miss being excited about my home.  I can remember when I moved into my first apartment.  I went shopping for the basics: dishes, towels, TV trays, silverware. I remember how exciting it was to pick that stuff out, to feel like an adult, making my own decisions about my own stuff.  Now I feel so stressed out most of the time, I have no time to enjoy what I can do for myself. I am so angry and bitter at the people who constantly attack that I have no time to enjoy those who don't. Most of all, I am sad that no one seems to understand.  ☹️