AH Christmas! ;-)

Recently I have had someone pop back up into my life and I am just not comfortable with it. His presence has made me shaky and paranoid and constantly on edge. I don’t like it. I hate feeling that way. I hate FEELING anything in regard to him other than the contempt I had settled in with 20 years ago. I certainly hate feeling this way during one of “the most wonderful times of the year”. For now I am concentrating on Christmas and gifts and smells and movies and lights and music. I am busy shopping and building and painting and creating and doing what I can to shove this to the back of my mind – something I suppose I’ve always done. But Christmas, for me, is about my children. And this scum-of-the-earth is NOT going to take that away from me.

On a lighter note, WOW do I have a TON to get done before Christmas! That is what I get for pushing it off and thinking ‘Oh I have plenty of time’. Yeah, time is running out. Hate it when that happens! But that’s okay. I have a million ideas for things (of which I’ll probably complete like 2). I really need to find a time to take inventory and make lists so I can keep track. But I have to find the perfect time to do that, when all manner of child and husband are nowhere near me. Yeah, good luck with that!

But it doesn’t matter. I’m excited for the holiday season. I’m as anxious to play with see the kid’s new stuff as they are. I'm counting down the seconds until my favorite shows do their Christmas episodes and I've already taken in WAY too much sappy Christmas movies. But this year....this year I will break down and FINALLY watch It's a Wonderful Life for the first time (don't laugh people - I only saw A Christmas Story last year for the first time). Looking forward to it all!